On the Road to Becoming a Minimalist

If you know me... feel free to laugh!

I know, I know.  Minimalist?  Not really a word anyone would EVER use to describe me.  I have always been a keeper.  Compared to others I know, I am not super sentimental.  I am more of a practical keeper.  What might I possibly need in the near, or distant, future? What might it be hard to replace?  The question I need to ask is, would I really replace it?

That light bulb moment I wrote about awhile back... it has brought me to this point.  I have been searching, exploring, planning, and acting.  I have a huge pile of things to get rid of.  I have taken many loads to the recycling center.   I have a long, long way to go. 

In the book Clutterfree with Kids, and in his blog becomingminimalist.com, Joshua Becker talks about his family's journey to becoming minimalists, and what that means to them.  He describes it as "the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts from it."  Right now, I am at a point where I am trying to figure out what this means for our family.  We will never be able to own the bare minimum.  We will still have toys and books and kitchen gadgets, and probably too much of them.  But I am on the road. 

I am enjoying the idea of living with less stuff.  More time for family and fun.  More money for things that are important.  Less time cleaning and organizing.  Can I really do it? Can we really do it?  Only time will tell...

40 Bags in 40 Days

I came across this blog post about 40 bags in 40 days.  I am always trying to get the best ideas possible to conquer my clutter habit, so I quickly joined the Facebook group.

The challenge started today, March 5.  I typically think I will participate in this kind of thing, and then life happens.  I'm hoping this time is different. 

My mom read a blog post this past weekend and summarized it for me.  I wish I could tell you the link or even the blog it came from, but I didn't even see the site.  I was busy printing, cutting and folding wedding programs for my sister's fast-approaching wedding.  The quick summary of the post, if I remember correctly, was that the blogger's oldest daughter was not content with things.  She was begging for a toy, and this happened often.  So the blogger took all of the belongings out of her daughters' bedrooms.  No toys, not even decorations.  She saw a difference in the contentment of her children.  They were more creative and even excited by the fact that they no longer have to pick up as much. 

I have a discontented oldest child myself.  He isn't happy with things he has.  If he wants something new, he can't get it fast enough.  He is always the one to complain when they have to pick up.  His common response, "We just picked up last night!"  So that blog got me to thinking.  What a novel idea, less stuff means less picking up.  Though I'm not sure I'm willing to go to the drastic measure of taking everything away from the kids. 

A couple days after talking about that blog, I read a friend's Facebook post about the 40 Bags in 40 Days, and decided I'm gonna do it!  Today was the first day.  I wish I had taken before and after photos(I will tomorrow).  I started in Paxton's room.  I still had several baby toys, blankets, and even burp rags in his closet.  I had two bags of unused children's hangers, which I moved to the garage for a garage sale.  I then sorted through toys and did a quick sort through clothes.  I took out a set of plastic storage bins and hanging shoe organizer.  I had two boxes of items for garage sale, one bag to give away and a stack of baby blankets that I am not quite ready to part with(they went to the attic for keeping).  Three bags and two boxes out of one room.  I'm on a roll!

I'm not sure how well I will keep up with this.  Hopefully it won't be like a New Year's resolution.  But surely, with the support and encouragement of a bunch of strangers on Facebook, I can make it 40 days.  Even if I just take one bag of clutter each day, that would make a huge difference in out total amount of stuff.  

Go check out the Facebook group 40 Bags in 40 Days 2013(not sure why the wrong year). https://www.facebook.com/groups/40bagsin40days/ 

Light Bulb Moment

You know those moments in cartoons when the light bulb appears over a character's head?  I had one of those moments the other day.

Mid January Paxton was outgrowing his coat.  I knew when the cuffs were hitting closer to the elbow than the wrist that we would have to buy one soon.  I ended up going to the children's resale shop and finding a cute coat in excellent condition.  About a month later, a friend of mine asked if I needed a coat for Paxton because her son had outgrown his.  I said no and didn't think another thing about it.

This weekend I was talking with my mom.  For some reason the offer of the extra coat came up, and my mom said she would have taken it.  She said she always liked to have an extra in case one got dirty or wet.

This is when the light bulb came on.  I completely agreed with my mom.  It is nice to have an extra coat, which is why almost all of my kids have at least 2(Gray and Madalynn have 3).  But that moment I was standing with my friend, I was thinking of all of the extra stuff I have and thought maybe I really didn't need an extra coat.  There is only 1 more month of winter, surely 1 coat will get him by.   

Too often I am given things that I don't really need, and I accept them happily.  They are things that I believe might come in handy.  I go through hand-me-down clothes and keep most of it.  I come home with loads of stuff every time I go back home.  My grandparents give me things, my mom and dad give me things, my sister gives me things, and the list could go on.

I am a sucker for cast-offs.

I have a great desire to provide for my family.  I know that we may not always have the money to buy new things, so I keep the old stuff.  If someone is getting rid of something that might be useful, why not keep it?  If I have things I haven't used in years... Who cares?  I wouldn't want to buy it again, so I keep it.  Pretty soon I have filled my house with things.  Things that I don't want to get rid of in case I need them later.

Don't get me wrong.  I purge on a regular basis.  When the kids outgrow things, I resell or give them away.  I get rid of clothes that are torn or stained.  I throw away broken things(unless I think I can fix it).  But still I feel overrun by things.

This light bulb moment made me realize that part of the reason I keep things could be inborn or learned from my parents.  But it also made me realize that I had said no to adding another thing to my household, another thing that I probably didn't need.

I know that I can overcome the stuff that clutters my life, and even though my first instinct is to take and keep things that are offered,  I am going to change my ways.  I am going to get really choosy with the things that occupy my space, and hopefully, soon, we won't be picking up junk all of the time!

Can it get any crazier?

I have to start by saying my sweet sister called at the beginning of January to apologize for not thinking of me when setting her wedding date.  Don't be silly, I said.  I was the last person she should be thinking of.  The date was set to March 15. 

Fast forward to the beginning of February. This begins a six-week birthday extravaganza.  All four of our children were born in the six weeks between February 1 and March 11(or really 5 1/2 weeks).  It was not planned this way.  3 of the 4 we were hoping for fall babies, but this is how it turned out.  It also seems to rival the six weeks before Christmas for being our busiest time of year.  This year even more so. 

The first weekend of February brought the first two birthdays.  We had some family friends over for dinner to celebrate with the two little ones.  Madalynn's party with friends would be the next weekend.  Then came the snowstorm.  We still had 3-4 inches of snow on the ground, and got 8 more.  Which meant several snow days.  You would think all that time off would have us working on Valentine's boxes, but I didn't think that far in advance(I would regret not thinking later).

Breathe.

The kids went back to school Friday.  Madalynn and I left at noon to head to St. Louis for the first of the bridal showers.  We had a great time, but made it home just in time for my nursery duties at church.  The rest of the day was spent at basketball game, party prep and party.  I should add, while I was gone Jackson took the big boys to Monster Jam and they had the Pinewood Derby, Super Science Saturday and a birthday party for one of Gray's friends. 

Breathe.

The next week brought decisions about a BoxTop contest(deadline is fast approaching).  I had to get notes made and sent home.  I was the default homeroom parent for Camden's class, so notes went home about the Valentine's party.  Valentine boxes had to be made and cards bought and filled out.  Throw in our serving week at Wednesday night church... we had to provide a dessert.  I subbed Thursday all-day and Friday morning.  Valentine party Friday.   Weight-lifting meet Saturday morning, bachelorette party Saturday night.  Made it home Sunday just in time to pick the kids up from church, run to the last basketball game for Camden, then home for one hour.  Next was Grayson's basketball tournament.  2 games for him. 

Breathe.

We had the first two days of school off this week.  This weekend will be the trip back home for 2 more bridal showers. One that I am hosting, I do have lots of help though!  Plus wedding crafting.  Jackson and Gray will head to Tulsa for Super Start with our church.  I will take the other three with me.  I am thinking I probably won't be home until bedtime for the kids on Sunday(8:30).  After they go to bed I will have to prepare a note to go home with the school kids about the used book exchange I am in charge of. 

Breathe.

Camden's party is still in the works, but his birthday is this week.  Grayson has opted for a bigger gift and no party, which works for me since his birthday is only 4 days before the wedding.  The first weekend in March brings the deadline for BoxTops, so somewhere in the midst of all this planning and running I will have to make time to count, sort and mail those.  Last time we brought in 4000!  Jackson will take the older boys to Roaring River State Park for the opening day of trout season, too.   

Breathe.

The second weekend in March is somewhat unknown as of right now.  Basketball is over.  The trips will be finished.  BoxTops will be mailed.  It will be time for last minute wedding prep.  Hopefully I won't still have to find shoes to go with my dress!  This is the week of the book exchange, so I will be sorting books and preparing for that.  Hoping it goes off without a hitch!

Breathe.

Friday starts hard-core wedding prep.  Maybe a manicure.  Last minute details.  Rehearsal dinner.  And then the big day.  The biggest day of all! 

I am reminding myself to breathe in this post.  Reminding myself to stop and take a moment.  People always say I need to make time for myself, but sometimes it seems a breath is all I have time for.  When April comes and this busy time is over, I will look back and wonder how it went by so quickly, just as I always do the week after Christmas.  That is the crummy part about being busy.  You run and run and run, and when its over, you wonder how you got there so fast. 

I am not sure it could get any crazier, but I love it!  I am so blessed to have my family. 

New Year-New You

There is something refreshing about starting a new year.  It gives you a fresh start to change all of those bad habits and make the most of the coming year.

My inbox and junk mailbox has been overrun with messages about healthier eating, exercising, Bible reading, and organizing.

Lose 5 pounds in six weeks!
Top 10 ways to eat healthier!
20 ways to organize!
3 ways to make the Bible the focus this year!
Groupon- personal trainer deals! 

And it goes on and on.  It might take all year just to add all of the ways to do this and that.

There are always going to be new and improved ways you can better your physical and spiritual self.  These things are only as good as the effort you put into it, though.  How many times have I thought, This year is going to be different.  This year I am going to stick to my... diet, reading plan, exercise goals, (insert your thing here)?  It seems like I always think that this year will be different, this year will be better than last.  Then on December 31, I find it hard to remember my goals I set in place 364 days ago.  Sometimes I can't even remember goals I set a month ago.  Life takes over. 

I wrote before that I don't really believe in New Years resolutions, and that is still the case.  So, instead of making a list of things I won't even remember,  I am going to keep moving, keep living and keep letting life take over.  In the end, it won't matter if I reached all of those goals in the next year, but it will matter that I played play-doh with my 1-year-old, I let my 3-year-old help me with the cooking, I watched a movie with my 6-year-old, and I took time to look at the car my 9-year-old just got on his video game.  I may not remember my goals for 2014, but they will remember that I spent time with them.  To me, that is the best way to make this new year count.



Side note... I will continue to make goals and strive to meet those, they just won't be the focus of my new year.

Every year, on November 1st, Facebook is inundated with posts for 30 days of thanksgiving.  So many of my friends and acquaintances participate.  I have never.

I found myself thinking this year... Is it difficult to come up with something you are thankful for every day for 30 days without repeating?  Though the challenge still wasn't enough to make me post on Facebook, I am going to post my list of 30 right here.

1. God's amazing grace.  Even though I know I don't deserve it, I also know it is there, saving me all of those times I fall.
2. My grandparents.  They have always been so giving of their time, resources and love.  I was fortunate to live very close to both sets growing up.
3. My mom.  We talk nearly every day.  She understands the challenges I face in motherhood.
4. My dad.  Always thinking of me, and how he can help me out in life.  
5. Jamin, my brother.  "They say I have autism, and I like it that way."  Without his special needs, I wouldn't be the person I am today.
6. Susana, my sister.  We shared a room(and often a bed, even though she had her own) growing up and have a great bond now.  I couldn't imagine life without her.
7. Jackson, my husband, partner and friend. 
8. Grayson, Camden, Madalynn, and Paxton, my children.  Even though they are often the source of my craziness, I love them dearly.  I told them last night that they made my dreams come true.  I always wanted to be a mother, and am so glad that I am.
9. My dear friends.  Those people that I talk with often, people who brighten my day, people who I can pick up where I left off no matter how long we have been apart.
10. Casual friends and acquaintances.  They may not be those I run to in a time of need, but I am thankful to know them.  We can have fun, chat, and quite possibly may become much closer.
11. WalMart.  Yes, that's right, I am thankful for WalMart.  It has provided Jackson with a stable job for 15 years.  It has paid our bills, given us insurance, and allowed us to have met many wonderful people.  Not to mention the always low prices!
12. Our vehicles.  I was fortunate to always have a car, but Jackson spent quite a while without one in college.  He was always able to catch a ride, often with me, but I am thankful that we have transportation.  
13. Our church.  We have so many great friends and opportunities for learning and fellowship through our church.  Wonderful things for the children as well.
14. MSSU.  I learned so many things in college, and not just educational things.  I met Jackson on the first day, and developed many lasting friendships.  I also got the opportunity to study abroad and take some amazing trips.
15. My jobs.  Though I don't really like to work... I would much rather be home with the kids.  The many jobs I have had have provided "fun money" throughout the years. 
16. Our house.  Our realtor was about to tell us she wouldn't help us find a house after looking at over 50.  The funny part was, we had searched in another town, probably the same number of houses, before we found out we were moving here.  This house isn't perfect, but it meets our needs pretty well, better than any of the other houses we looked at.
17. The computer.  It can be a tremendous time waster, but also a great learning tool, a way to keep in touch and a simplifier of life. 
18. Facebook.  Without it, I might never see the kids of my long, lost friends.  I might not know what my past friends were up to.  I can keep up with close and distant relatives without just hoping they will send me a Christmas card once a year. 
19. The sky.  So much beauty, countless hours of entertainment.  Watching clouds, sunsets(not many sunrises, I am not a morning person), meteor showers, eclipses, and the list could go on.
20. Phones.  I don't know what I would do without being able to call people anytime I wanted, or needed.
21. Music.  I have passed many hours traveling, trying to sleep, just being bored with music.  I also love to sing.  
22. Heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer.  
23. Running water.  I have had a few, brief times without water.  I would not like to live without it, and feel very blessed that I have running water in my home.
24. Creative minds.  I'm always amazed at what great, creative minds can think up.  I often find myself thinking, How did someone come up with this?  Art, entertainment, inventions... They make our life richer.
25. Sense of humor.  It would be hard to live life without one.  Some of the toughest moments as parents can often be helped with a good laugh.  For all of the madness my kids bring about, I bet there is at least 5 times more laughter.  We have a lot of fun in our house! We once read a study about the lack of laughter in adults.  Jackson and I came to the conclusion that participants of that particular study must not have kids.
26. Volunteers.  I have been involved in several different groups that need volunteers.  It can be so hard to find someone willing to commit to giving their time. 
27. Cameras.  Without them I may forget those precious moments of life that have passed by.
28. Difficulties and disappointments.  Life is not perfect, and though I may not be thankful at the time, the more difficult times in my life have provided me with many lessons to learn from and the perspective I need to be grateful for all my many blessings.
29. Quiet moments.  In a house with 4 kids, tv or music is often on, kids are fighting or crying, or both.  I am thankful for those moments when there is no noise.
30. Teachers.  Those who have taught me, and those who teach my children.  School and Sunday School.  They spend so many hours preparing, add to their school budget with their own money, give of their time and their hearts.  

So here is my list.  30 things I am thankful for right at this point in my life.  I know this list will grow and change.  Hopefully we all take time to be thankful throughout the year and not just in November.

What is more important... A person or a car?

Last Friday afternoon I was having one of those days.  We were wrapping up a crazy week of cub scout bake sales, Halloween festivities and Box Top submissions(I am the BoxTop coordinator).  I was glad that the craziness was over.  Looking forward to a relaxing weekend.
While I was picking the boys up from school, Madalynn hopped in the front seat and was pretending to drive.  I was standing outside the driver-side door talking to a friend for about 10 minutes.  Of course, she flipped every light on and had the turn signal and windshield wipers on, too.  I went to leave the parking lot and my van wouldn't start.  This has happened a couple of times, so it is probably time for a new battery... ugh!

I saw a school staff memeber's husband waiting to pick her up, so I walked over to his truck and asked him for a jump.  He said no!  I have never encountered anyone who said no to helping someone with a jump start, unless they didn't have cables.  I told him I had a set in the van and he said he really didn't want to mess up his truck.  That was news to me... I had no idea giving someone a jump start could cause problems for the other vehicle.  He said he didn't know what it might do, but he didn't want to risk it.

I don't know why it upset me, but I felt really hurt by this.  I wouldn't think twice about helping someone, even a complete stranger, and certainly a mom with 4 kids waiting in the car, and I couldn't imagine anyone who wouldn't help out someone in need.  The guy didn't even roll his window down more than a crack!     

I ended up going into the office, tears in my eyes, and the kids' principal came to our rescue.  I came home and Googled jump starting and the damage it can do.  There are varying opinions, but theoretically it could do damage, so I shouldn't be too upset.  Though, in my opinion, people are much more important than your car.  I have yet to see a car damaged by giving a jump start, and I have done it myself more than 10 times in the past couple of years.  So I will continue to help a person in need and hope that my generosity outweighs the risk of damaging my car.