Friday, February 20, 2015

Be Careful What You Pray For

Jackson is a co-manager at WalMart.  Since he first decided to work his way up in management, his goal was to be a store manager.  He has worked hard and impressed many, and is 1 promotion away from the store manager position. 

As believers, we believe God has a plan.  We also believe that God is working in our family here in St. Joe.  For me, I am happy right where we are, but I know that Jackson wants to be promoted.  So I pray.  Every time he hears of an opening, I pray.  When he gets chosen to do an interview, I pray.  I pray for him, I pray for those making the decision,  and I pray for us to follow God's will.  I pray that we will know the right opportunity for him and for our family.

At some point recently, I realized that praying for a promotion within WalMart might be focusing too much on our wants, or what we think the future should be, not what God has in store for us.  I can't say exactly when, but I started praying for a change.  I prayed that if a store manager wasn't the direction Jackson should go, a door would open for him.  I prayed about the possibility of another company.  I prayed that he would get a change.  I also prayed for us to be open, for me to be open to different possibilities.  For 13 years, I have envisioned our future with Jackson working as a store manager.  Maybe that isn't what is in the future for us, and I prayed we would see that.  Or, maybe it is what our future will look like, but just not right now.  So I prayed for patience.  I, also, prayed prayers of thanks for my husband who works so hard and allows me to stay home primarily.  

2 weeks ago Jackson received a call.  They wanted him to be part of a high-profile project team in Bentonville, Arkansas- WalMart home office- about 5 hours away.  Of course, I was wanting to play the part of the supportive wife, so I said yes, go the 6 weeks. We can make it.  A few days later, he finds out the 6 weeks is actually 11 weeks!  Yikes! 

Change.

I had been praying most recently for change.  A change for Jackson in his job.  Not quite the change I was thinking of.  I was thinking store manager of Kohl's, Target, a grocery store, not really thinking a change in location without us.  I never once considered the change might leave me home alone with 4 kids.  He will be able to come home on the weekends, but still... 11 weeks by myself.  Running to and from school, church and activities.  Can I do it?  Can I handle this type of change?

Of course I can.  I have to let go of the self-doubt.  I have to believe that I am strong enough to handle this challenge.  I have to remember that I prayed for a change, and I can pray for help.  I prayed for patience, and I will continue to pray for patience.  I prayed prayers of thanks, and I will continue those, as well.  I don't have family in town, but I have family an hour away and church family and great friends.  I have a network of people who love us.  And this isn't about me.  This is about a great opportunity that was given to my husband.  This is about a wonderful honor.  This is about change, and love, and gratitude, and I can do it. 

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